This picture cracked me up. I had to pass it on!
Showing posts with label Just for laughs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just for laughs. Show all posts
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A few thoughts on Mother's Day...
Since it's Mother's Day, I thought I would share a few things that I've learned in the short time I've been a mother:
Sleep is not a necessity, it's a privilege. If you look at it as such, it doesn't seem quite as bad when you don't get it.
Raisins and cheese go hand in hand. Probably shouldn't feed your child too much of one without the other.
Never buy just one package of colored socks. Always buy at least two. That way, when the dryer eats one, it has two to go before you have to finally throw the last one away.
Pull-Ups were never meant to hold as much fluid as a diaper... especially at night. Don't let the fact that you pay twice as much for half of the amount fool you into thinking so.
A child's hair never looks good for more than 3 or 4 minutes... especially if you spent any time at all fixing it.
For special occasions, buy a really nice gift for yourself and give the box and wrapping to your child. That way you both get something great out of it.
Look both ways before you cross the kitchen. It's the funnest place to drag toys while mom's cooking dinner.
When you dish up your child's food, go ahead and just throw half of it in the garbage... that's where it's gonna end up anyway.
Any word you say can, and will be used against you.
You can never have enough bibs.
When you clean the glass doors, only clean from about the waist up... after the first day it will look like that's all you did anyway.
There is no such thing as getting the laundry done.
"Because" is never enough of an answer to a "why" question.
Your child will injure themselves somewhere on his/her face when you finally get the picture appointment scheduled.
If you ever want your child to eat or drink, just go put them in bed. Suddenly, they are starving and dying of thirst.
There's no such thing as a 'spill proof' sippy cup... especially when the kids are dressed up or wearing white!
A Costco size box of OxyClean needs to be figured into the budget every month.
Children have a different palate when at their grandparents' or other peoples' house. They will eat anything put in front of them after you just got done saying how picky they are.
They can only program so many songs into one little toy. After about two hours of play, you will want to take out the batteries or make the entire toy disappear.
There's never a best time to give your child a bath... they will wait to have a "blow-out" until they are freshly bathed with clean clothes on.
The restroom is never a place of 'rest'. It's a place to congregate and play while mom's using it.
Grandparents are the only ones that think your child's temper tantrum is cute and acceptable.
It's only fun to play with the ball in the room with all the breakables.
It's a lot of fun to put things in the garbage can. You should probably check its contents a couple of times a day... it's amazing the stuff that can go missing.
Leave time for bedtime stories.
Teach "please" and "thank you" at a very early age.
Dogs work great as vacuums around the high chair.
Sometimes you really don't want to know what happened.
Every child, at some point, will use their finger and try to explore the two little holes in the middle of their face.
A hug and "I love you, Mommy" can make even the worst day better.
I now know what it would look like if a tornado struck Toys R Us... I get a visual of it at least once a day in my living room.
It's okay if they stay up past their bedtime once in a while.
If you ever looked at another child and said, "If that were my child...", you will get the opportunity to show what you would do.
Falling on the pavement, scraping their hands and knees, and just about cracking their head open never hurts as bad as popping their only balloon.
Make lots of time to "nuggle".
Toilet paper never looks quite the same when you've had to re-roll it.
They learn amazingly young how to blame their sibling for something that happened.
Get on the floor and play at their level.
It's okay for kids to play in the dirt. But if you have young animals, and they bring you dirt they found in the house... it's probably not dirt.
Take lots of pictures.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. It's either that, or break out in tears.
If you give them a cup in the bathtub, they will try at least once to make a lake on your bathroom floor.
When they have sticky hands, you have two options: Clean them up immediately, or clean their hands and wash their hair.
Sometimes they fall asleep without getting their teeth brushed. It's not going to kill them.
If you have to bring their car seat in the house for some reason, they will gladly sit in it all day and play with their toys. If you decide to stick it in the car so you can go somewhere, they suddenly hate it and want out.
Never say we "might" go get ice cream. They just heard "Let's go get ice cream!".
Sing lots of songs and don't be afraid to act silly.
Tell them you love them often throughout the day.
Don't give them bubbles in the house unless you are prepared to mop the floor.
After experiencing some of their antics and idiosyncrasies just in the short time that we've had kids, I can truly say that I LOVE being a mom, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My children are a gift from God and such a blessing. As I look back on some of the things that they've done, I just have to laugh.
It does make me even more appreciative of my own mom. Just with some of the stories she tells, I can only pray that my children don't try half of the stuff my siblings and I did.
Hope you all have a very
Happy Mother's Day!
Sleep is not a necessity, it's a privilege. If you look at it as such, it doesn't seem quite as bad when you don't get it.
Raisins and cheese go hand in hand. Probably shouldn't feed your child too much of one without the other.
Never buy just one package of colored socks. Always buy at least two. That way, when the dryer eats one, it has two to go before you have to finally throw the last one away.
Pull-Ups were never meant to hold as much fluid as a diaper... especially at night. Don't let the fact that you pay twice as much for half of the amount fool you into thinking so.
A child's hair never looks good for more than 3 or 4 minutes... especially if you spent any time at all fixing it.
For special occasions, buy a really nice gift for yourself and give the box and wrapping to your child. That way you both get something great out of it.
Look both ways before you cross the kitchen. It's the funnest place to drag toys while mom's cooking dinner.
When you dish up your child's food, go ahead and just throw half of it in the garbage... that's where it's gonna end up anyway.
Any word you say can, and will be used against you.
You can never have enough bibs.
When you clean the glass doors, only clean from about the waist up... after the first day it will look like that's all you did anyway.
There is no such thing as getting the laundry done.
"Because" is never enough of an answer to a "why" question.
Your child will injure themselves somewhere on his/her face when you finally get the picture appointment scheduled.
If you ever want your child to eat or drink, just go put them in bed. Suddenly, they are starving and dying of thirst.
There's no such thing as a 'spill proof' sippy cup... especially when the kids are dressed up or wearing white!
A Costco size box of OxyClean needs to be figured into the budget every month.
Children have a different palate when at their grandparents' or other peoples' house. They will eat anything put in front of them after you just got done saying how picky they are.
They can only program so many songs into one little toy. After about two hours of play, you will want to take out the batteries or make the entire toy disappear.
There's never a best time to give your child a bath... they will wait to have a "blow-out" until they are freshly bathed with clean clothes on.
The restroom is never a place of 'rest'. It's a place to congregate and play while mom's using it.
Grandparents are the only ones that think your child's temper tantrum is cute and acceptable.
It's only fun to play with the ball in the room with all the breakables.
It's a lot of fun to put things in the garbage can. You should probably check its contents a couple of times a day... it's amazing the stuff that can go missing.
Leave time for bedtime stories.
Teach "please" and "thank you" at a very early age.
Dogs work great as vacuums around the high chair.
Sometimes you really don't want to know what happened.
Every child, at some point, will use their finger and try to explore the two little holes in the middle of their face.
A hug and "I love you, Mommy" can make even the worst day better.
I now know what it would look like if a tornado struck Toys R Us... I get a visual of it at least once a day in my living room.
It's okay if they stay up past their bedtime once in a while.
If you ever looked at another child and said, "If that were my child...", you will get the opportunity to show what you would do.
Falling on the pavement, scraping their hands and knees, and just about cracking their head open never hurts as bad as popping their only balloon.
Make lots of time to "nuggle".
Toilet paper never looks quite the same when you've had to re-roll it.
They learn amazingly young how to blame their sibling for something that happened.
Get on the floor and play at their level.
It's okay for kids to play in the dirt. But if you have young animals, and they bring you dirt they found in the house... it's probably not dirt.
Take lots of pictures.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. It's either that, or break out in tears.
If you give them a cup in the bathtub, they will try at least once to make a lake on your bathroom floor.
When they have sticky hands, you have two options: Clean them up immediately, or clean their hands and wash their hair.
Sometimes they fall asleep without getting their teeth brushed. It's not going to kill them.
If you have to bring their car seat in the house for some reason, they will gladly sit in it all day and play with their toys. If you decide to stick it in the car so you can go somewhere, they suddenly hate it and want out.
Never say we "might" go get ice cream. They just heard "Let's go get ice cream!".
Sing lots of songs and don't be afraid to act silly.
Tell them you love them often throughout the day.
Don't give them bubbles in the house unless you are prepared to mop the floor.
After experiencing some of their antics and idiosyncrasies just in the short time that we've had kids, I can truly say that I LOVE being a mom, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My children are a gift from God and such a blessing. As I look back on some of the things that they've done, I just have to laugh.
It does make me even more appreciative of my own mom. Just with some of the stories she tells, I can only pray that my children don't try half of the stuff my siblings and I did.
Hope you all have a very
Happy Mother's Day!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Redneck Sightings!
My aunt sent me some of these 'redneck sightings', and I thought they were so funny I had to share them. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
Redneck Time-Out
Up to the minute weather report.
You might be a redneck if...
Redneck grill
Redneck horseshoes
Redneck Harley
Redneck lawnmower
(My husband said, "That's actually kinda cool!" when I showed him this one. Scary!!)
You might be a redneck if...
Redneck grill
Redneck horseshoes
Redneck Harley
Redneck lawnmower
(My husband said, "That's actually kinda cool!" when I showed him this one. Scary!!)Monday, January 5, 2009
Monday, October 20, 2008
Gonna Be A Bear!
In this life I am a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yep, gonna be a bear!
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